Coping with Grief and Loss During the Holidays

Holidays are usually accompanied with joy, celebration, and family. For those who are experiencing grief or loss, however, it can be a period of deep sadness and loneliness. The absence of a loved one, pet, or important person in your life can feel particularly heavy during this time. It's important to remember that grief isn’t only related to death - it can be loss or changes in your life that elicit similar feelings. Here are a couple of strategies and reminders to help you navigate the holiday season:

1. Honor Your Feelings: First and foremost, it's important to recognize that experiencing grief during the holidays is normal and valid. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up, whether it's sadness, anger, or even relief. Remember, there's no right or wrong way to grieve and you can experience these range of emotions without feeling guilty. 

2. Be Flexible: Grief is non-linear and unpredictable, so your feelings may change on a day-by-day or even moment-to-moment basis. Allow yourself to change course if you are not ready or willing to do what was planned. You can always have a “plan B” for when you want to opt for quieter traditions or if you need a distraction. Be gentle with yourself as you give yourself permission to do things differently this year.

3. Create New Traditions: While embracing traditions can be important, creating new ones can help you to move forward in a way that feels more comfortable. Here are some ideas:

• Incorporate a new food dish to the day

• Make a new playlist to play

• Go to the movie theater

• Eat at a restaurant

• Engage in a new craft or hobby

• Volunteer at a local charity

• Take a trip to a new place

• Start a gratitude journal

• Host a gathering for others who are grieving

4. Honor Your Loved One: Finding ways to cherish this person’s life can provide connection and meaning while you grieve your loss. Here are a few ways to celebrate the life of your loved one: 

• Light a candle in their memory

• Write a letter to them

• Visit their grave or place that was meaningful to them

• Donate to their favorite charity

• Hang a special ornament on the tree

• Take a walk in nature to reflect on your memories with them

• Share favorite stories or memories with others

• Create a memory box with photos and mementos

• Prepare their favorite holiday dish

• If this loss doesn’t involve a person, you can make a vision board for your future or journal about next steps to give yourself a sense of control over your life 

5. Seek Support: If you’re struggling with your grief, surrounding yourself with understanding friends and family can provide comfort and strength. Don't hesitate to reach out when you need help or simply want someone to talk to. It might be helpful to join a grief support group or talk with a therapist if you're struggling. Our SGTG therapists specialize in treating grief and can help you begin your healing journey. 

This time of year, especially when experiencing grief, isn’t easy for everyone. You are entitled to feel angry, sad, happy, shock, confusion, fear, and many other emotions. Know that finding moments of happiness during this season doesn’t take away from the love you feel for who or what you lost. Give yourself time and grace as you navigate this season or reach out to our therapists so you can feel supported during this time. 

Maddie Persanyi, LCPC

About the Author

Maddie Persanyi, LCPC is a clinical therapist specializing in anxiety, relationship issues, self-esteem, life transition, and trauma. She incorporates IFS, CBT, and strength-based therapy into her treatment. Read more about Maddie here.