Can Uncertainty Lead to Self-Sabotaging?
With increased access to information via the internet, our tolerance for the discomfort around uncertainty has declined. Why should we accept feeling uncertain when the answers might be just a click away? When something is uncertain, we’re unable to identify how likely one potential outcome is versus another. The human brain has an innate fear of uncertainty. It does not like the feeling of the unknown as it can be daunting and overwhelming. This can create a pattern of avoiding challenges with uncertain outcomes which is a form of self-sabotaging.
This behavioral pattern likely stems from a lack of confidence in our skills and abilities to be able to handle the unknown obstacles that present themselves. The good news is, there are ways to break this behavioral pattern. The more information we’re able to obtain, the more rational decisions we’re able to make. Lack of information causes our mind to switch from our logical brain to our emotional brain, leading to feelings of anxiety and fear. To break this behavioral pattern, we must intentionally engage our rational brain in order to regulate our emotional reaction. This requires us to become aware of the intrusive thoughts we’re having. Taking a moment to identify these thoughts and write them down can bring clarity, allowing us to identify where these feelings may be stemming from. These feelings are coming from a primitive and protective part of our emotional brain. By implementing positive thoughts we engage our rational brain and begin modifying the identified negative thought pattern.
We frequently make the mistake of taking our memories as fact. If we struggled in the past to complete a task or had experiences leading to decreased self-esteem, the memories will remain top of mind, causing self-limiting thoughts. Our brain does not process memories exactly how they happened, instead, they’re stored in a way that makes the most sense in our already established mindset. As a result, people remember the same event very differently. Once information has been fully processed and stored, our mind holds onto pieces that fit with our perspective and discards pieces that challenges it. Our minds picking out information that confirms our already established beliefs or ideas is called confirmation bias. Having an understanding of how confirmation bias works can help us recognize the way we remember something may not always be accurate. Acknowledging this can give us the confidence to create experiences and memories that align with the positive self-concept we’re working towards creating.
Our automatic thoughts draw upon rules of thumb, stereotypes, and past experiences. While this lets our mind focus on other things, it can lead to drawing inaccurate conclusions. Becoming established in a particular way of thinking, can cause us to ignore evidence and logic to maintain our established belief system. Settling into self-limiting and self-deprecating behaviors frequently leads to self-sabotaging behaviors. Challenging our beliefs can be incredibly uncomfortable, but dismissing facts can be detrimental to ourselves and the world at large.
Every decision we make comes with an element of uncertainty. Despite having access to infinite information, we cannot avoid facing the uncertainty of life and the discomfort that accompanies it. Implementing the tools discussed above with allow you to identify and eliminate self-sabotaging behaviors. Working to develop a belief system rooted in logic will allow us to take the actions needed to manage discomfort caused by feelings of uncertainty. Making decisions that allow you to feel most in tune with yourself while staying aligned to your core values is often the right choice.
Sydney Gideon, LCSW
About the Author
Sydney Gideon, LCSW is a clinical social worker specializing in trauma & PTSD, anxiety, depression, and adjustment disorder. She incorporates EMDR, CBT, and Trauma-Informed Therapy into her treatment. Read more about Sydney here.