The Importance of a Life Full of Rituals
Whether we’re aware of it or not, humans are creatures of habit, sometimes unintentionally implementing rituals into our daily lives. This may look like journaling before bed, having a cup of coffee in the morning, engaging in prayer or meditation, even blowing out birthday candles or going trick or treating. Rituals, by definition, are repeated purposeful actions that feel important or significant to the individual. While it may be relatively easy to identify rituals we engage in within our own lives, what’s less straight forward is why we implement them in the first place and the power they can have on our lives. To put it very simply, rituals help us feel better. According to Cristine Legare, PhD, there are two types of rituals we can engage in. Instrumental rituals and collective rituals. The first are rituals done to maintain agency over our lives. This could include superstitions, healing practices and many of the rituals we would engage in individually. The second are rituals one partakes in with a group of people such as a Bar Mitzvah or book club. In order to obtain the most benefits out of the rituals we engage in, it’s important to understand why rituals help us to feel better in the first place.
Rituals can be a way to self-soothe or elicit hope from oneself. Instrumental rituals can be used to reassure ourselves or to make us feel things are okay. Superstitions such as “find a penny pick it up all day long you’ll have good luck”, throwing coins into a fountain, knocking on wood or tossing salt over your shoulder all come with the mentality of being protected. This is also how people come to have good lucky items they bring with them to sporting games or important events. While you may be thinking, “well none of these things are actually based in fact”, there is evidence of the calming effect these rituals can have on us. Research has shown utilizing instrumental rituals can boost our confidence and motivation making us more likely to succeed. So, while there may not be an external force coming through your lucky sweatshirt, wearing it certainly has the desired effect on the outcome.
While rituals can be used to bring good luck, they can also bring comfort in times of grief or sadness. Implementing rituals when we’re struggling are immensely helpful as they allow us to feel we’re regaining control. I discuss the importance of control, as humans, in a previous blog titled “Regaining Control When Feeling Helpless”. Studies have shown self-soothing rituals can have long-term benefits. In a study conducted by Michael Norton, PhD, and his colleague, they asked participants to write about a loss they’d endured. Some of the participants were also asked to reflect on and describe a ritual they used to cope with the loss. Results showed the individuals that wrote about the rituals they used in the past, had lower levels of grief in the present. The great thing about rituals is their ability to help you achieve what you’re trying to feel, whether positive or negative, such as more hope or less grief.
Collective rituals are frequently utilized to mark and amplify important life events. Examples of these events could be a retirement party, baby naming, baptism, bat mitzvah, quinceanera, or a wedding. Implementing rituals can turn an event into a memorable and emotionally charged moment. They can also bring us closer to others taking part, giving us a sense of togetherness. “Researchers have found that the participants of collective rituals perceive a state of “emotional synchrony,” which fosters a sense of bonding with the other members of the group.” This information can allow us to create deeper bonds and connections with coworkers, friends, family members. A 2016 study found that when families engage in rituals over the holidays, each individual experience greater enjoyment of the holiday as a whole. Studies also have shown that couples who engage in weekly rituals together reported higher levels of relationship satisfaction that couples who do not.
The positive impact rituals can have on our lives is undeniable. Whether we’re self-soothing, celebrating life events, working on our relationships or practicing self-love, choose a ritual that resonates with you and believe in the impact it can have. The power rituals have to better all aspect of our lives is clear, so the next time you’re going to a sporting event, don’t forget your lucky sweatshirt.
Sydney Gideon, LCSW
About the Author
Sydney Gideon, LCSW is a clinical social worker specializing in trauma & PTSD, anxiety, depression, and adjustment disorder. She incorporates EMDR, CBT, and Trauma-Informed Therapy into her treatment. Read more about Sydney here.
